Purpose

Looking around me at the activities going on in my city, state and country, it seems to me that a lot of us lack purpose. We automatically assume that the life of our dreams should consist of prestige, lots of money, romance and fun. The sad thing is that mystics have known for centuries that these goals will not create the life of our dreams. When we're on our death beds, it's unlikely that we're going to be regretting that we didn't make more money or have more romance or that we weren't famous. Probably we're going to be thinking about the people we love. Our regrets will likely be about any times we missed we letting them know we loved them. Living according to our life purpose will surely include loving other people - which is a lot more reliable a way to live than waiting around for other people to love us!

Stories

Are you wondering why you haven't created the life of your dreams for yourself yet? Probably part of the reason is the story you're telling yourself about it. Try this: Take a couple of hours and just write out the story you're telling yourself. It might go something like this: I've had a lot to do, I haven't had time, the people in my life don't want me to, I have other priorities, I don't have the money, and on and on. Just notice without blaming yourself that these are excuses not reasons.

If you were really excited about creating the life of your dreams and committed to taking the action to make it happen, none of these things would be in your way. Now that you have your "excuses story," write a new story about how you will let go of your excuses and make it happen. You will be surprised at how much your creativity will come to the surface.

Another way that might help: You could write the story as though it were someone else. What qualities does this person have that you don't? Maybe you could begin by developing those qualities. Why not? What else have you got to do, really?

Behavior Change

Most of the thinking I've done in my life has been about how to change my behavior. I am rebellious. I don't want to change. On the other hand, I don't like my behavior and I want to change. I'm not talking about robbing banks, killing people, and stuff like that. I'm talking about what time to get up in the morning. What to eat or not eat. Whether to exercise or not. Getting organized. Paying the bills on time. You know - day-to-day stuff that I can get away with not changing, except that over time there's a price to pay.

Sometimes I think it would have been a good idea for me to have joined the military. I've noticed that people I know who were in the military retained their disciplined habits into civilian life. But at 68 I'm probably not a candidate. So I continue to work toward being a disciplined person so that I can escape the price of not being disciplined.

Here's what doesn't work:

1. Berating myself mentally.

2. Giving up in despair.

3. Reading self-help books (just reading them, not implementing ideas).

4. Comparing myself to other people.

5. Watching mindless t.v.

6. Doing unimportant tasks instead of the most important ones.

7. Letting other people criticize me.

8. Starting tomorrow or next week or whenever I get something else more important (ha) done.

9. Playing computer games.

10. Subjecting myself to strict discipline and nothing I want to do until I finish what I don't want

to do.

Here are some things that help:

1. Eating right, getting enough sleep and exercising.

2. Getting a partner who's working on similar things.

3. Taking a day off to do whatever I want.

4. Encouraging myself mentally.

5. Talking to people who will encourage me.

6. Learning AND implementing new ideas

7. Experimenting with new ways of doing things.

8. Making change a game.

9. Preparing for new behavior by setting myself up for success (get rid of the junk food for

example.)

10. Making a new commitment every day.

11. Last but not least - prayer and meditation.

What's really going on....

Everybody has problems, right? Some of them have been with you your whole life if you're anything like me. Maybe you're consistently overweight. Maybe you have consistent money problems. Maybe you're worried about your kids. Maybe you have a chronic back problem you can't find a solution for. There are a great many of these typical problems that people in general typically have. Maybe they are so pervasive in your life you've forgotten that they are problems.

Be suspicious! Be very suspicious of these problems. There's a good chance they're a cover for your real problems and that's why you haven't solved them.

Try this: Sit quietly and happily imagine that you have solved the chronic problems in your life and are now free to have the life of your dreams. How does that feel? What comes to mind? For a lot of us, what comes to mind are the OTHER problems - an unhappy relationship, back taxes we owe, something we've done that we feel ashamed of, etc., etc. No wonder we've been focusing on the chronic ones.

What has worked for me was getting some support and help in dealing with the REAL problems. Then the others seem to melt away without my effort. It could be that I didn't need them to distract me any more so they just went away by themselves.

Making Peace with Money

"What does it mean to make peace with money? It means to create a relationship with money that is simple, comfotable, and free of stress, worry or pain; to create a relationship with money that is satisfying, even joyful." Jerrold Mundis. Making Peace with Money.

If you agree that making peace with money is going to be necessary for you to have the life of your dreams, then identifying your beliefs about money is going to be one of your first steps. In the last post, I detailed some information about the basics of money management. When I first learned these basics, I immediately tried to forget them because I was sure it was hopeless to actually accomplish them. I thought you had to have a whole bunch of money in the first place. I had a lot of other limiting beliefs that had been keeping me from taking the steps I needed to take in order to build a comfortable, satisfying financial life.

Try this exercise: Write this sentence and complete it: Money is___________. Keep writing it and completing it until you run out of things to write. Then take a look and see if any of those beliefs are actually true. For example, I believed that there were some people who had the ability to handle money, but that I wasn't one of them. I thought it took some kind of special talent. Turns out - it's not true. Handling money is easy. It's our beliefs that keep us from doing well.