Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Upside and the Downside of Habits

My habits have always seemed to be barriers to my heart's desires.  Eventually, I realized that it would be a good idea to actually research what's known about habits so I've been in that process for awhile now.  I have learned a lot, and the more I learn, the more I find I need and want to learn.

Here's what I think, so far, about "bad" habits: 

  • I don't believe bad habits happen because I'm a bad person.  I believe they serve a purpose.  They developed because, unconsciously, I thought they were helpful.  Overeating is an example.  Eating pleasurable foods is a great antidote to emotional pain.  I unconsciously used it as a tool.  A better way would be to notice when I have emotional pain and learn how to comfort myself in ways that don't have such negative consequences.

Here's what I think, so far, about "good" habits:

  • I believe that forming "good" habits is a lot harder than we believe.  I was taught that you just start doing what you should be doing anyway and not make any kind of a fuss about it.  Well, so far in my life I haven't met anybody who has done that.  Learning to form new habits is an art and requires study and support from others.  The formation of habits, new research indicates, has evolved as a survival tool.  For example, we can't possibly think about everything necessary to drive a car.  The process of learning is to a large extent dependent on putting the actions necessary into unconscious mind. 
At this stage of my life, one of the most important tasks I've taken on is to discover how to build a life that I enjoy and that has meaning for me.  Building that life is simply building a series of new habits.  Simple.  Not easy at all.