Several years ago I took a seminar on "mindfulness," and they told the students that most of us go through life like robots, operating mainly unconsciously. We often give almost no thought to how we feel, what we're thinking, what we're doing, why we're doing what we're doing, what's going on around us - mindlessness.
My mind was usually worrying about what I "needed" to do next and what terrible things were going to happen if I didn't, my personal shortcomings, what somebody else was doing or not doing. I was either living in the future or the past. It would have been extremely unusual for me to actually notice my body, my feelings, or my environment.
When I heard that mindfulness was preferable to "mindlessness," I wasn't sure why it was. I really thought it was just how human beings were and there was really no choice in it so why does it matter anyway. The answer to "Why does it matter, anyway?" was that when I lived in my head, thinking about the past or the future, I was totally missing the present - which is where my life is actually lived. It would be possible for me to go to my grave without ever having really participated in the life I have been mysteriously given! It's also possible, however, to make a choice to live in the here and now and actually experience my life.
I realized I didn't want my life to have been about housework and whether I was pretty enough and whether I had enough money, and whether the people in my life were doing what I wanted. Those were the things that revolved in my mind every day and were, therefore, my life as I was living it. Yuck!
They mentioned that the choice to live mindfully was one that had to be made - not just daily but moment by moment. It's a very difficult discipline. However, I can testify that as I continue to make that choice in my life, I continue to be more and more in touch with my heart and the love in the universe. What else could be more important?
Empowerment enhances the ability of individuals or organizations to make choices and transform those choices into positive outcomes. Empowered people have recognized their own value and strength and their capacity to handle life's problems. In turn they are better able to influence the course of their lives. With information and support, most people can find within themselves the power to direct their lives and reach their dreams.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Nothing Changes Unless There's a Plan
Ah, insight! It's so exciting! It promises a new life and new happiness!
But here's the thing - it's temporary. Usually. There are a few exceptions but mostly it's temporary.
For example, I just finished reading Cheryl Richardson's book, The Art of Extreme Self Care. She's divided the book into twelve months with tasks to do each month. She's actually presented me with a plan for improving my self care. However, it's up to me to decide what I will do to improve my self care on a daily basis and then remember to actually do it.
As a life coach, I've learned that I'm not the only one who has trouble making a plan and then remembering to carry it out. The call of my unconscious routines seduces me. So, I post sticky notes everywhere to remind me to floss, to call friends, etc. I set the alarm on my phone to remember to do evening meditation.
For me, planning is not a complicated process. I've read many, many books on the subject of planning and some of them are long and detailed. I got lost and gave up. So now I just brainstorm a list of possibilities and choose what seem to be the best ones. (Brainstorming just means spitting out all the stuff that comes to mind without judging.) Then I put the best of the possibilities on my to do list every day.
I deeply believe that simplicity works best for me and for a lot of other people too. I also deeply believed, even before reading Cheryl's book, that taking care of myself is my first responsibility and if I do a bad job of that, nothing else is going to go well.
But here's the thing - it's temporary. Usually. There are a few exceptions but mostly it's temporary.
For example, I just finished reading Cheryl Richardson's book, The Art of Extreme Self Care. She's divided the book into twelve months with tasks to do each month. She's actually presented me with a plan for improving my self care. However, it's up to me to decide what I will do to improve my self care on a daily basis and then remember to actually do it.
As a life coach, I've learned that I'm not the only one who has trouble making a plan and then remembering to carry it out. The call of my unconscious routines seduces me. So, I post sticky notes everywhere to remind me to floss, to call friends, etc. I set the alarm on my phone to remember to do evening meditation.
For me, planning is not a complicated process. I've read many, many books on the subject of planning and some of them are long and detailed. I got lost and gave up. So now I just brainstorm a list of possibilities and choose what seem to be the best ones. (Brainstorming just means spitting out all the stuff that comes to mind without judging.) Then I put the best of the possibilities on my to do list every day.
I deeply believe that simplicity works best for me and for a lot of other people too. I also deeply believed, even before reading Cheryl's book, that taking care of myself is my first responsibility and if I do a bad job of that, nothing else is going to go well.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Making Room for my REAL Life
Clutter exists in time as well as space. No one ever told me that. I had to figure it out for myself. There are innumerable time-wasters that can clutter up my life. With the advance of the internet and electronic devices, we have many more time clutter problems than before.
I thought the way to get rid of time clutter was to figure out what to eliminate, but even though that sounds logical, it's actually backwards. It doesn't work the way eliminating material clutter does.
With material clutter I can just make a pile of stuff I want to simplify, and then divide it into: 1. a pile of trash 2. things to give away or sell and 3. things to put away. With time clutter I just use what I've learned about what moves my heart and put those things into a time slot. Of course, that means heart activities will crowd something out, but once I know what the heart activities are, I find it really easy to see which time clutter things need to go.
It works just fine for me to check email and Facebook only once a day and use that time to write posts for my two blogs. I've completely given up ironing. I still have a little ironing board but I just use it to iron labels on my daughter's clothes and to let company iron their stuff. It's a lot easier to do dishes as I go along rather than making a big production of it once a day.
When I'm living from the heart, writing, taking pictures, spending time with people I love, cooking new dishes and just enjoying my peaceful life easily crowds out stuff that really doesn't matter in the long run.
I thought the way to get rid of time clutter was to figure out what to eliminate, but even though that sounds logical, it's actually backwards. It doesn't work the way eliminating material clutter does.
With material clutter I can just make a pile of stuff I want to simplify, and then divide it into: 1. a pile of trash 2. things to give away or sell and 3. things to put away. With time clutter I just use what I've learned about what moves my heart and put those things into a time slot. Of course, that means heart activities will crowd something out, but once I know what the heart activities are, I find it really easy to see which time clutter things need to go.
It works just fine for me to check email and Facebook only once a day and use that time to write posts for my two blogs. I've completely given up ironing. I still have a little ironing board but I just use it to iron labels on my daughter's clothes and to let company iron their stuff. It's a lot easier to do dishes as I go along rather than making a big production of it once a day.
When I'm living from the heart, writing, taking pictures, spending time with people I love, cooking new dishes and just enjoying my peaceful life easily crowds out stuff that really doesn't matter in the long run.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Creating a Beautiful Life by Using Intention
I believe that many of us just get up every morning and do what's in front of us to do - chores, work, sleep, eat, dress, errands and on and on. Every once in awhile we might have a minute where we think about what our life is about, but it's probably unlikely that we think of ourselves as the a creator of a work of art, but that is what we are whether we realize it or not.
We are either creating our lives consciously or unconsciously. In order to create a beautiful life, we are probably going to have to become conscious of what we're doing. That sounds so simple! In my experience it is simple, but also one of the most difficult things I've done.
Let's say that we've already done the work of discovering what a beautiful life looks like to us. (This work is of the right brain and definitely not the left brain.) Then what happens is that we forget about it in a day or two and then go back to our normal, unconscious way of doing things.
So how can we make sure we remember that our lives are a marvelous gift from our creator that we can make beautiful every single day? When I take a step back from my daily rounds and think about the gift I've been given, I know that if I were my creator, I would be sad that the life I gave is being used as an unconscious round of chores. Maybe it's as simple as writing down and memorizing an intention every morning.
If I set the intention every morning that I am creating a beautiful life today and honoring the fabulous gift I've been given, my to-do list miraculously changes. Ideas often come to me about how I can make that day a beautiful day. Other ideas about actions I could take to lay groundwork for even more beautiful days in the future.
Intention has great power. It gives me the opportunity to tune in to my creativity. It provides the energy to take action. Inspiration stems from it. Certainly it is worth the two minutes it takes to focus each morning.
We are either creating our lives consciously or unconsciously. In order to create a beautiful life, we are probably going to have to become conscious of what we're doing. That sounds so simple! In my experience it is simple, but also one of the most difficult things I've done.
Let's say that we've already done the work of discovering what a beautiful life looks like to us. (This work is of the right brain and definitely not the left brain.) Then what happens is that we forget about it in a day or two and then go back to our normal, unconscious way of doing things.
So how can we make sure we remember that our lives are a marvelous gift from our creator that we can make beautiful every single day? When I take a step back from my daily rounds and think about the gift I've been given, I know that if I were my creator, I would be sad that the life I gave is being used as an unconscious round of chores. Maybe it's as simple as writing down and memorizing an intention every morning.
If I set the intention every morning that I am creating a beautiful life today and honoring the fabulous gift I've been given, my to-do list miraculously changes. Ideas often come to me about how I can make that day a beautiful day. Other ideas about actions I could take to lay groundwork for even more beautiful days in the future.
Intention has great power. It gives me the opportunity to tune in to my creativity. It provides the energy to take action. Inspiration stems from it. Certainly it is worth the two minutes it takes to focus each morning.
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