Trying to roof a house before you're finished with the foundation is obviously futile. But I used to try to set goals and achieve them before I actually knew who I was and why I wanted to achieve those goals. I usually only put a few days of effort into working toward them before I gave up. No wonder. I was definitely trying to work without a foundation.
I finally realized that I was choosing goals that I thought I SHOULD choose instead of goals I actually wanted. I didn't actually know what I wanted either because I was so busy trying to be who I thought I SHOULD be. It had never occurred to me to ask myself who I was or who I wanted to be and what that person, whoever she was, would want for her life.
So...it was evident that I would first have to discover who I really was...
Step 1 - Discover who I really am (or who I really want to be). Oh boy! This is not as easy as it sounds. However, you can make room for a little time with yourself on a regular basis to ask yourself some questions, and you can gradually get acquainted with yourself. Make it a time when you don't have anything else you have to do or people you need to be with. You don't have to start with the big questions like, "What do I want my life to be about?" You can just start with making a list of things you love to do. Then make a list of things you love: like what colors, food you love. Check your closet and select your favorite clothes. This is a way to start getting better acquainted with yourself.
Step 2 - What do I REALLY want? Go ahead and make a list of the goals you think you should want to achieve. Now - notice that what you REALLY want is the feeling you would get from achieving those goals.
For example, I'd like to have a convertible. I've seen them on t.v. and in the movies. The people driving them look happy and carefree. (Except for Thelma and Louise driving off a cliff!) So what I really want is to feel happy and carefree. This exercise will help you separate the goals that give you the result you REALLY want, from the goals you think you SHOULD want.
I know I SHOULD lose weight. But the feeling I would have by losing weight is a feeling of accomplishment, looking better, and feeling better. When my goal is how I want to feel, I'm a lot more motivated than by a "should."
Step 3: Begin to add the things you love to your life on a daily basis.
Here's the easy part. The fun part. Start adding the stuff you love to your life. Don't spend a lot of money; just add the simple, easy things. Wear the clothes you love, eat healthy food you love, do some of the activities you love.
By making these changes you're telling yourself that you really are capable and ready to build the life of your dreams. You are building a foundation of self-knowledge and are learning what you really love - invaluable for moving forward.
Empowerment enhances the ability of individuals or organizations to make choices and transform those choices into positive outcomes. Empowered people have recognized their own value and strength and their capacity to handle life's problems. In turn they are better able to influence the course of their lives. With information and support, most people can find within themselves the power to direct their lives and reach their dreams.
