I'm reading a book with the above title which refers to an experiment where the subjects were watching a basketball game on video and their assignment was to count the passes between players. In the middle of the video a person in a gorilla suit walked across the scene. When asked, only 25% of the subjects even saw the gorilla. The book covers a variety of similar experiments one of which showed that the more over confident one is, the less capability one has! Another experiment compared the capability of groups who guessed the number of jelly beans in a jar. If the group functioned by each member writing down his/her guess and then averaging the guesses in the group, that group did far and away the best - compared to the groups who discussed their guesses. In the latter group, the most outgoing member usually took control and it was his/her guess that ended up being the group's guess.
The point that came across to me was that we all should be careful to become knowledgeable before we make decisions. We may "feel" capable and may even feel more capable after we've consulted someone else, but we may be like most people and have an illusion about our capability and even if we've consulted someone else, it may be that person is no more knowledgeable than we are. A lot of what we think we know is just opinion and/or familiarity and does not provide us what we need to make good decisions. An example given in the book was that of a student who has read the material several times that he/she will be tested on. So, the student is familiar with the material. The problem is that he/she will not necessarily have understanding of the material which is what the test will measure.
To reach goals that will take us to the life of our dreams, knowledge and understanding of the steps to take are invaluable. Consulting others is only useful if we're sure they are truly knowledgeable!
Empowerment enhances the ability of individuals or organizations to make choices and transform those choices into positive outcomes. Empowered people have recognized their own value and strength and their capacity to handle life's problems. In turn they are better able to influence the course of their lives. With information and support, most people can find within themselves the power to direct their lives and reach their dreams.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Juggling
Adding new activities to our daily routines can be a challenge for many of us since almost all of us are overloaded already. Sometimes our wishful thinking makes us believe that we can add things without figuring out how they will fit in the time available. Since we were already stressed, we soon drop these new activities because we become more stressed even though we want very much to do these new and wonderful things.
Creating the life of our dreams requires the "elbow grease" of looking at the hours in the day, how long each activity really takes, and determining where new things could fit. The first place to look is at the activities that don't really add to our quality of life. In my case, that would be playing solitaire on the computer. Now that's not a bad thing, it just doesn't add to the quality of my life. It serves the purpose of giving my brain and body a rest.
However, there are more effective ways of resting that really improve the quality of my life. I've found that lying on my back on the living room rug with earphones on, listening to lovely music, with a scented candle burning, and gently stretching my muscles, refreshes me more than solitaire. Plus it adds to the quality of my life in a big way.
The next place to look for time is in areas where I could streamline. I've actually found books that show how to streamline the daily maintenance of homes and other areas of life like errands. It's amazing how doing a little study ahead of time and doing these chores in an organized way can add hours to the day.
The next place to look is at things I can get help with or delegate all together. Asking for help or even buying help is often worth it for the hours I can add to my daily life that add to my quality of life.
My favorite time saver is just doing things in a mediocre or sloppy way. I don't feel bad about this anymore at all. For example, I clean out closets like this: I stand in front of the open closet. I look for things I don't want any more, pull them out and put them in a trash bag. I put the trash bag in the garage and call one of the charities that pick stuff up. This whole activity takes about 15 minutes. I probably miss some stuff. So what. In the past I've spent whole days on this type of activity. I regret that time - it didn't add to my quality of life at all. I can't tell much difference in my closets now that I don't do that. When they get too full, I take stuff out and give it away. I spend a tiny bit of time on it and move on to better things.
There's a lot to be said for the later years in life. Right now I am appreciating my awareness of how little time I have left to live and I am even more dedicated than ever to making sure every bit of it is used for good!
Creating the life of our dreams requires the "elbow grease" of looking at the hours in the day, how long each activity really takes, and determining where new things could fit. The first place to look is at the activities that don't really add to our quality of life. In my case, that would be playing solitaire on the computer. Now that's not a bad thing, it just doesn't add to the quality of my life. It serves the purpose of giving my brain and body a rest.
However, there are more effective ways of resting that really improve the quality of my life. I've found that lying on my back on the living room rug with earphones on, listening to lovely music, with a scented candle burning, and gently stretching my muscles, refreshes me more than solitaire. Plus it adds to the quality of my life in a big way.
The next place to look for time is in areas where I could streamline. I've actually found books that show how to streamline the daily maintenance of homes and other areas of life like errands. It's amazing how doing a little study ahead of time and doing these chores in an organized way can add hours to the day.
The next place to look is at things I can get help with or delegate all together. Asking for help or even buying help is often worth it for the hours I can add to my daily life that add to my quality of life.
My favorite time saver is just doing things in a mediocre or sloppy way. I don't feel bad about this anymore at all. For example, I clean out closets like this: I stand in front of the open closet. I look for things I don't want any more, pull them out and put them in a trash bag. I put the trash bag in the garage and call one of the charities that pick stuff up. This whole activity takes about 15 minutes. I probably miss some stuff. So what. In the past I've spent whole days on this type of activity. I regret that time - it didn't add to my quality of life at all. I can't tell much difference in my closets now that I don't do that. When they get too full, I take stuff out and give it away. I spend a tiny bit of time on it and move on to better things.
There's a lot to be said for the later years in life. Right now I am appreciating my awareness of how little time I have left to live and I am even more dedicated than ever to making sure every bit of it is used for good!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thought for the Day
In creating the life of our dreams, we may learn many unexpected things. For example, "Our true gift to ourselves and others lies not in what we have but who we are." Marianne Williamson.
Many of us start out to create the life of our dreams thinking that our possessions, education, social status and other "American dream" goals are the things that will make up the life of our dreams. The more we succeed at creating these things, the more we may notice that we still don't feel like we have the life of our dreams. Then we may need to change our focus. This doesn't mean we've failed; it means we've learned what's really important to us.
Many of us start out to create the life of our dreams thinking that our possessions, education, social status and other "American dream" goals are the things that will make up the life of our dreams. The more we succeed at creating these things, the more we may notice that we still don't feel like we have the life of our dreams. Then we may need to change our focus. This doesn't mean we've failed; it means we've learned what's really important to us.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Changing
In "The Four Agreements Companion Book," Don Miguel Ruiz (the author) answers a question from a reader. She asks why it is so hard to change; why she makes progress and then reverts to old behavior. Don Miguel answers by saying that it's her old agreements (beliefs about herself) that cause this. There is a part of her (he calls it the parasite) that wants her to stay the same, to stay miserable. The parasite tells her she is not worth being happy. These beliefs or agreements as Don Miguel calls them, were learned in childhood. It's not easy to change them but it's worth it.
I believe this is why change - especially positive change is so hard for all of us. These are the biggest barriers we have to creating the life of our dreams. Changing our beliefs about ourselves that we learned in childhood may be the most difficult task we will ever have in life. Don Miguel says in "The Four Agreements" that there are no guarantees that we will fully accomplish this task in our lifetime. He says it's a war we should fight anyway. He calls those of us who make this commitment to ourselves, "warriors."
What else have we got to do with the rest of our lives anyway? Let's be warriors and have the courage to fight for the life of our dreams.
I believe this is why change - especially positive change is so hard for all of us. These are the biggest barriers we have to creating the life of our dreams. Changing our beliefs about ourselves that we learned in childhood may be the most difficult task we will ever have in life. Don Miguel says in "The Four Agreements" that there are no guarantees that we will fully accomplish this task in our lifetime. He says it's a war we should fight anyway. He calls those of us who make this commitment to ourselves, "warriors."
What else have we got to do with the rest of our lives anyway? Let's be warriors and have the courage to fight for the life of our dreams.
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