How to Cook a Wolf

There's a whining at the threshold -

There's a scratching at the floor -

To work! To work! In Heaven's name!

The wolf is at the door!

- Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Ups and downs in the economy come in cycles. I don't know why we haven't noticed this and acted accordingly, but we don't. The above was written during the Great Depression, and I found it in SIMPLE ABUNDANCE by Sarah Ban Reathnach who wrote it in 1995 when the economy was in another downturn and people were being laid off in droves (they called it "downsizing"). She wrote a book - a nice thick one too - about how to have a wonderful life without spending much money. The book, HOW TO COOK A WOLF, was written by Mary Frances Kennedy Fisher during the worst of the World War II food shortages. Her advice was to weed out desires, leaving just "holy hungers." Then she suggests putting our energy into satisfying those hungers. To me that would mean getting a couple of dead ripe tomatoes at the farmer's market and having them for lunch with nothing but a piece or two of cheese. The life of our dreams can be made up of day after day of these little joyful things.

Food

"By the time you have reached your fortith birthday, you will have eaten about 50,000 meals and spent over 50,000 hours in a food-related atmosphere! We have to eat to live, so why not make it one of the simplest pleasures in life - beautiful and memorable as well as delicious? I believe the quality of the food we treat ourselves to and the elegance of the food ritual sends out a signal about how important we think we are, a signal to our inner selves and to others." - Alexandra Stoddard. "Living a Beautiful Life."

This is great advice. The trouble is, more and more of us are living alone and have somehow come to believe that unless we're eating with someone else, caring about elegance is self-indulgent or just plain nuts. More and more of us are way, way too busy (we think) to care this much about what and how we eat. I think that's wrong. If we want to have the life of our dreams, a great place to start is by treating ourselves like we're worth having it - especially in the areas where we spend the most time.

Alexandra has a whole chapter of suggestions. She begins with the kitchen - the environment most of us eat in on a regular basis. Here are some of her suggestions: 1) Take everything off the counters and determine whether you really need for those items to be sitting out. The more clear your kitchen is, the more beautiful it is. 2) The kitchen is a great place to grow plants and the plants add to the environment. Also, an indoor garden of herbs and flowers can really add beauty. 3) Now that modern ventilation keeps kitchens from becoming greasy, hanging art work on the walls is easy. These are pieces that you will look at every day, so they should be things that are ver special to you.

If you think this is crazy, why not just try a few things to see how it makes you feel. If they don't make you feel like you're living the life of your dreams, let it go. But I would be willing to be you will feel pretty special.

Journey

"Life is not a journey to arrive at the grave well-rested and well-kept, but...rather to slide in sideways exclaiming "Holy Shit! What a ride!"

How's your life? Do you think this is what you'll say on your death bed? Do you want to say that on your death bed? What do you want to say?

A Beautiful Life

"...make the daily 95 percent of your life wonderful." - Alexandra Stoddard. Living a Beautiful Life.

This wonderful lady has written a whole book filled with ideas for making everyday life wonderful and beautiful. She suggests creating "rituals" for patterns we can create in our daily living that uplift the way we do ordinary things. Here are some of her ideas:

- Line the inside of your closet door with art postcards. Get dressed with art.
- Mark new seasons with childhood reminiscences: In spring, fly a kite; in fall rake leaves and go
hiking; in summer make a sand castle; in winter go for a walk in newly falling snow.
- Burn calories when you tidy up and clean. Put on exercise clothes and running shoes. Play
jazzy music and hustle to get it done.
-Fresh flowers, scented candles, and beautiful colors in all the rooms of your house will give you pleasure wherever you are and no matter what you're doing.

The Joy of Doing Scary, Boring Stuff

Creating the life of our dreams usually entails doing some things we don't want to do at all. It wouldn't be much as a dream life if we were constantly worried about the IRS, our bank balances, late payments on bills. So, getting those things done even if it means getting help to do them can give us a more peaceful reality as well as more time to think about what we really want. Getting help is key if we find ourselves procrastinating. But there are more things we can do. Why not take care of these things with our favorite music playing in the background? Maybe we could have a lovely coffee drink too. Maybe right after we finish we can go to a movie we've been wanting to see. Having a really nice pen to use to do those things can help. Designing a work space that lends itself to the task is another help. Is the work space comfortable, pleasant, tidy, have adequate light, etc.?

The last thing we want on this life journey is a bunch of undone things that hang around in our minds causing us anxiety.

Acceptance

So how do you go about enjoying life when your environment and/or the people in your life are not the way you want them to be? It's the riddle of the universe, right? No, actually it isn't. Centuries ago, wise people found the answer to this question, told people, wrote books, etc. The answer is, of course, acceptance.

So, how do you do that? Well, let's pretend you're outside and the temperature is 102 degrees. If your mind does what most mind's do, you start thinking about how hot it is and how miserable you are. You notice how much you're sweating and how much you hate how you feel. If anybody else is around, you complain to them about how miserable you are and how awful it is. They will usually agree with you, and the two of you can talk about this incessantly. You may have noticed that none of this makes you any less miserable.

OR you could start thinking about the fact that it's always hot in the summer and fighting the weather is a waste of time and energy. You could then think about what you're doing out in the heat - do you have a good reason? If not, get out of the heat. If so, focus on your reason instead of your discomfort while making yourself as comfortable as you can. If you knew you were going to be outside, did you bring a towel to wipe sweat? Did you bring a cloth and some ice to cool off with? Are you wearing a broad brimmed hat to keep your head cool? Can you get in the shade?

If you're only outside while you're walking from an air-conditioned building to your car, ask yourself if you really are so wimpy that you can't take a few seconds of heat. Have you ever sat in a sauna to open your pores? Maybe you can use this few moments of heat for the good it can do your body - just like a sauna. Maybe you're dreading getting in the hot car. Do you have a sunshield for your car? Did you crack a window? Did you look for a shady place to park? Maybe you could start your car, go back inside and wait until the air-conditioning cools the car a bit.

Summary - Acceptance means not fighting the things you have no control over and doing the things you can to make the situation better (or even using the situation for good).

You can't really have the life of your dreams if you can't be happy when things aren't going your way. In life things will frequently not go your way. Don't wait to be happy; be happy anyway!