According to the Bible, God took a day off. Many religions recommend the day off idea, but how many of us actually do it? I've noticed that when many people "take a day off" they rush around doing a bunch of things they consider fun and arrive at the end of the day, completely worn out! My idea of a day off is to sleep as long as I do in the morning and take a nap if I get sleepy in the afternoon. I eat food I love, making sure it's what my body wants and needs. It turns out that it's not true that the only food I love is food that's not good for me. There are lots and lots of ways to fix vegetables and fruit that I truly love!
I listen to music I love and really listen to it. I lie down on the floor so I can feel the vibrations of the music, close my eyes and don't do another thing but listen. I listen until I'm full of music and am ready to do something else. Usually that entails several hours of reading since I love to read but usually read in spurts. Several hours of reading is an incredible treat. On my day off I almost always spend a lot of time outside. If the weather is hot, I will probably make this time early in the morning (instead of sleeping in, I have a longer nap). If the weather is very cold, I may just take some time to look out a window for awhile. Even if it's too cold to sit outside, I can walk around for a little while and just take in my surroundings.
My day off is a good time to take a bubble bath for as long as I want to. Sometimes I get a pedicure or a massage. For much of my life I was a driven person - anxiety about not getting everything done wore me out even if I was lying down. After several years of that, I was ready to have days off when all I did was nurture myself! Someone elses' day off will surely look different than mine, but I believe days off are completely necessary for the life of our dreams.
Empowerment enhances the ability of individuals or organizations to make choices and transform those choices into positive outcomes. Empowered people have recognized their own value and strength and their capacity to handle life's problems. In turn they are better able to influence the course of their lives. With information and support, most people can find within themselves the power to direct their lives and reach their dreams.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Rituals for Home
For me rituals are the way I can make the ordinary things I do everyday more enjoyable. Since I eat, sleep and take baths everyday, why not make those habits a little more enjoyable? I've been doing some of these things for over twenty years now and still enjoy them.
There are almost always fresh flowers on my table. When I quit smoking almost 27 years ago, I promised myself that I would always have fresh flowers. The money I was saving on cigarettes was enormous and a $5.00 bunch of flowers at the grocery store was surely not going to break the bank.
Some time in there I fell in love with soft, flowing, new age music and began a collection. I also found radio stations that played it, so you will almost always find that type of music playing in the background at my house.
Someone gave me a scented candle many years ago, and I fell in love with those too. I don't like all of them, for sure. I mostly like herbal and flower scents, and so there's almost always one of those candles burning when I'm at home.
I have two particular types of bubble bath that I like and every bath I take is a bubble bath. From time to time I try others but always come back to my favorites. I've used what I call my extra cigarette money to buy sheets I like. In the summer they're satin and in the winter they're flannel.
My bedroom is as much a reflection of what I love as anything in my house. For example, there are a myriad of teddy bears on the bookshelves covered with books I love. The teddy bears were all given to me by friends when I was in the hospital after a terrible wreck. I look at them before I go to sleep and am reminded that love always surroundeds me.
There are almost always fresh flowers on my table. When I quit smoking almost 27 years ago, I promised myself that I would always have fresh flowers. The money I was saving on cigarettes was enormous and a $5.00 bunch of flowers at the grocery store was surely not going to break the bank.
Some time in there I fell in love with soft, flowing, new age music and began a collection. I also found radio stations that played it, so you will almost always find that type of music playing in the background at my house.
Someone gave me a scented candle many years ago, and I fell in love with those too. I don't like all of them, for sure. I mostly like herbal and flower scents, and so there's almost always one of those candles burning when I'm at home.
I have two particular types of bubble bath that I like and every bath I take is a bubble bath. From time to time I try others but always come back to my favorites. I've used what I call my extra cigarette money to buy sheets I like. In the summer they're satin and in the winter they're flannel.
My bedroom is as much a reflection of what I love as anything in my house. For example, there are a myriad of teddy bears on the bookshelves covered with books I love. The teddy bears were all given to me by friends when I was in the hospital after a terrible wreck. I look at them before I go to sleep and am reminded that love always surroundeds me.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Making Home a Beautiful Place
I used to simply hate and avoid a lot of the tasks I had to do at home, so I often just wanted to be somewhere else besides home. The first thing I did to solve the problem, of course, was get some help, but I was still left with the day to day chores. During that period of my life several books were available that helped a lot. One was Alexandra Stoddard's "Living a Beautiful Life" and the "Simple Abundance" book I've already mentioned. Another book that came in handy was "The Woman's Comfort Book" by Jennifer Louden. All three of these books recommended that I turn tasks I hated into rituals of beauty.
I truly thought the authors had gone nuts at first. Drudgery is drudgery. Finding a way to make laundry, dishes, vacuuming and bill paying beautiful was way too lofty to suit me. But the concept that my home is a blank slate that I can use to paint a beautiful picture kind of spoke to my heart. And all three of the authors pointed out that home is where I spend more than half my time so why wouldn't it be worth putting some creativity and care into making it and the care of it beautiful?
Some ideas I tried: Choose music to accompany a task. If I was cleaning house, I picked rock and roll - the faster the beat the better. I went just as fast as I could and used the cleaning as a workout. So I not only got to enjoy the music but scratch exercise off my list as well. Classical music seems to go with paying bills. I use a pretty pen, and I have a filing system that helps me keep bills straight and in order for paying. Planning meals with appearance as well as taste is another creative joy. It's worth a few extra pennies to buy garnishes at the grocery store. Coordinating the bright yellows, oranges, greens and reds of fruits and vegetables at each meal is fun too.
I truly thought the authors had gone nuts at first. Drudgery is drudgery. Finding a way to make laundry, dishes, vacuuming and bill paying beautiful was way too lofty to suit me. But the concept that my home is a blank slate that I can use to paint a beautiful picture kind of spoke to my heart. And all three of the authors pointed out that home is where I spend more than half my time so why wouldn't it be worth putting some creativity and care into making it and the care of it beautiful?
Some ideas I tried: Choose music to accompany a task. If I was cleaning house, I picked rock and roll - the faster the beat the better. I went just as fast as I could and used the cleaning as a workout. So I not only got to enjoy the music but scratch exercise off my list as well. Classical music seems to go with paying bills. I use a pretty pen, and I have a filing system that helps me keep bills straight and in order for paying. Planning meals with appearance as well as taste is another creative joy. It's worth a few extra pennies to buy garnishes at the grocery store. Coordinating the bright yellows, oranges, greens and reds of fruits and vegetables at each meal is fun too.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Homecoming
How do you feel when you walk in the door of your home? Do you sigh with relief and comfort? That's the way it should be. Where else are you going to go for comfort and refuge? If you don't feel that way, maybe making that so could be the first of the goals you set for creating the life of your dreams.
The next question is, "What would it take for you to sigh with relief and comfort when you come in your door?" For me the answer often was - someone to clean my house and get rid of all the clutter. I finally surrendered and got help with keeping my house clean and with getting rid of clutter. Most of the time I'm satisfied with the degree of cleanliness and order in my home now. It probably wouldn't pass inspection by someone who has higher standards than I do for cleanliness and order, but I set my own standards with the goal of comfort and refuge and higher standards would not help me reach those goals. I don't want to come in the door and start criticizing my home and feel the stress of demanding myself to clean and de-clutter.
What are some other things that might make your home a comforting refuge? Comfortable places to sit, good lighting, a bedroom with soothing colors, a kitchen with a clear and convenient workspace, scented candles, fresh flower, beautiful music? It's worth the time to walk through your house and think about how you could make each room more welcoming and comfortable. I'm NOT talking about redecorating and all the money, time and effort that would cost. I'm talking about creating order, putting furniture in places where it will provide more comfort, adding plants, lighting candles, turning on music. Why not set aside a little time and have fun with it?
The next question is, "What would it take for you to sigh with relief and comfort when you come in your door?" For me the answer often was - someone to clean my house and get rid of all the clutter. I finally surrendered and got help with keeping my house clean and with getting rid of clutter. Most of the time I'm satisfied with the degree of cleanliness and order in my home now. It probably wouldn't pass inspection by someone who has higher standards than I do for cleanliness and order, but I set my own standards with the goal of comfort and refuge and higher standards would not help me reach those goals. I don't want to come in the door and start criticizing my home and feel the stress of demanding myself to clean and de-clutter.
What are some other things that might make your home a comforting refuge? Comfortable places to sit, good lighting, a bedroom with soothing colors, a kitchen with a clear and convenient workspace, scented candles, fresh flower, beautiful music? It's worth the time to walk through your house and think about how you could make each room more welcoming and comfortable. I'm NOT talking about redecorating and all the money, time and effort that would cost. I'm talking about creating order, putting furniture in places where it will provide more comfort, adding plants, lighting candles, turning on music. Why not set aside a little time and have fun with it?
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Your Calling
"The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time."
— Mary Oliver
What is your creative power? Everyone has creative power. So don't say that you don't have any. Ask yourself, "What is your creative power and how is it restive and uprising?" When will you give it power and time? If not now, when? At the end of your life will you regret not giving it your power and attention?
— Mary Oliver
What is your creative power? Everyone has creative power. So don't say that you don't have any. Ask yourself, "What is your creative power and how is it restive and uprising?" When will you give it power and time? If not now, when? At the end of your life will you regret not giving it your power and attention?
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Clutter
In all the research I've read about creating the life of your dreams, I haven't seen a thing about tidiness. However, getting rid of clutter seems to crop up everywhere - on television, books, magazines, etc. It makes me wonder if tidiness should have been part of the research on happiness. Of course, I don't mean the compulsive, harsh, obessive effort to have everything perfect at all times. It's been my observation that that way of being doesn't promote happiness. Instead it seems to promote stress, frantic activity, and anger at anybody who interferes with the program.
What I mean by tidiness is that there's some place to put things away so that things that don't have a home don't pile up and disturb me everytime I see them. Usually when the "piles" appear in my life, it means I have a lot of trouble finding things I want. So then there are two sources of disturbance. Also there's the feeling I have when I'm at home that I can't relax since I know I really need to clean up the "piles." Over the years I've learned to include these tasks on my to-do list so that I create a home for those things that are just sitting around. Periodically, I donate things I no longer need to good causes.
I still have little piles of books and magazines here and there, but those are things that give me pleasure when I look at them.
What I mean by tidiness is that there's some place to put things away so that things that don't have a home don't pile up and disturb me everytime I see them. Usually when the "piles" appear in my life, it means I have a lot of trouble finding things I want. So then there are two sources of disturbance. Also there's the feeling I have when I'm at home that I can't relax since I know I really need to clean up the "piles." Over the years I've learned to include these tasks on my to-do list so that I create a home for those things that are just sitting around. Periodically, I donate things I no longer need to good causes.
I still have little piles of books and magazines here and there, but those are things that give me pleasure when I look at them.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Stress
Making changes is stressful even when the changes will bring us closer to the life of our dreams. So, managing stress is vital to being able to take the necessary steps to change.
First of all, we need to check out our foundations - are we getting enough sleep, eating an enjoyable and nutritious diet, taking time to have fun and relaxation? If not, that's the best place to start in making changes.
Next, have we taken the time to think about why we want to make the changes? What is the end result we want? Is it REALLY what we want? If not, our stress levels will be extremely high when taking the steps toward change. Who wants to work hard to make changes when we don't feel thrilled about the end result?
How about the rest of our lives? Are there people and events that are adding stress? If so, those may need our attention before everything else.
Finally, are our expectations of ourselves realistic? Are we expecting ourselves do to more than is needed on a daily basis? It's not the life of our dreams if we're overextended and miserable on the way there.
First of all, we need to check out our foundations - are we getting enough sleep, eating an enjoyable and nutritious diet, taking time to have fun and relaxation? If not, that's the best place to start in making changes.
Next, have we taken the time to think about why we want to make the changes? What is the end result we want? Is it REALLY what we want? If not, our stress levels will be extremely high when taking the steps toward change. Who wants to work hard to make changes when we don't feel thrilled about the end result?
How about the rest of our lives? Are there people and events that are adding stress? If so, those may need our attention before everything else.
Finally, are our expectations of ourselves realistic? Are we expecting ourselves do to more than is needed on a daily basis? It's not the life of our dreams if we're overextended and miserable on the way there.
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