Stress

Making changes is stressful even when the changes will bring us closer to the life of our dreams.  So, managing stress is vital to being able to take the necessary steps to change. 

First of all, we need to check out our foundations - are we getting enough sleep, eating an enjoyable and nutritious diet, taking time to have fun and relaxation?  If not, that's the best place to start in making changes. 

Next, have we taken the time to think about why we want to make the changes?  What is the end result we want?  Is it REALLY what we want?  If not, our stress levels will be extremely high when taking the steps toward change.  Who wants to work hard to make changes when we don't feel thrilled about the end result?

How about the rest of our lives?  Are there people and events that are adding stress?  If so, those may need our attention before everything else.

Finally, are our expectations of ourselves realistic?  Are we expecting ourselves do to more than is needed on a daily basis?  It's not the life of our dreams if we're overextended and miserable on the way there. 

Home

No matter whether you're a girl or a boy (although girls tend to pay more attention to this), home is still where you go after everything else.  An essential part of the life of our dreams is home.  I hope that home is our refuge, that we love everything about it, that we give home the importance that it needs for it to be our favorite place to go after everything else.

Rest

I don't believe that life is supposed to be about ceaseless activity, about getting things done, about getting to a goal as fast as possible.  I believe that life is supposed to be about enjoying everything, about a balance between rest and activity.  There's a natural flow to life that we really don't have the power to change.  If we resist we just make ourselves crazy and exhausted.  Martha Beck, a well-known life coach and author, recommends resting when we're the most stressed.  Of course, that's going to be easier said than done so she has a list of things to do:

- Sit down.
- Mentally scan your body and mind for the places where you have the most stress.
- Put your whole attention on those places, one-by-one.
- While your attention is on them, think the word, "relax."  Notice what happens.
- After a minute or two, think the word, "rest."  Offer it to your tired feet, your hurting back, your  
  broken  heart. Say to yourself, "I am resting now for my feet, my back, my heart."

This exercise should be done off and on throughout the day.  Without frequent rest, we are not even going to notice the life of our dreams!

How Do You Talk to Yourself?

One of the skills I've learned that has benefitted me incredibly is learning to pay attention to how I talk to myself.  Basically that just means that I notice my thoughts.  When I'm not moving forward toward goals the way I think I should, it's deeply ingrained in me to think things like:  "You'll never make it."  "You always do this - quit before you're finished."  Some part of me thinks that kicking myself will make me a better person.  So far it has never, ever worked.  When I learned to pay attention to how I talk to myself, I also learned to quickly change my thoughts.  I used to believe that my thoughts were just how they were - that there was nothing to do about them.  It turns out that no matter what crappy negative thinking I have, I can always choose my second thought to something positive like:  "No, that's not true.  I have succeeded at a lot of things and I can succeed at this too." 

Our automatic thinking is usually uniformly negative and does not deserve to be listened to.  Let us learn to think better thoughts!

You Are the Best You've Ever Been!

Do you realize that today you know the most that you've ever known?  How could it be otherwise?  You've gathered information every day of your life up to now whether you realized it or not.  So, you're the most prepared you've ever been to create and live the life of your dreams. 

In The Four Agreements, Don Miquel Ruiz says that we are the only living beings that continue to kick ourselves for our mistakes (and let other people kick us too) for years and years and years.  There's a part of our minds (and I don't believe this part of my mind is actually me) that keeps on reminding us of our mistakes.  Today would be a good day to stop listening to it and stop believing it.  Instead let's remind ourselves that today we know the most we've ever known in our lives and put our knowledge to work creating and living the life of our dreams!

Simple Ways to Simplify

One of the first ways to get off track in creating the life of our dreams is to let all the incoming information and requests to distract from our direction.  Take a look at the to-do list and see where the activities that create the life of your dreams are located.  Are they at the bottom or the top?  Of course, they should be at the top.  Make it a game to cross out all the activities that could wait until next week, next year, or never.  Ten of them is a good goal.  Then let's redirect our attention to the life-of-our-dreams activities.

Spring Goals

Since it's spring again, it's a good time to think about what you want to do in the spring weather.  Why not set some new goals - focused on the joy of the planet earth.  It's so easy to forget to enjoy the planet, but it's where we live and there's a tremendous amount to enjoy.  While creating the life of our dreams - even though we may not be quite there yet - we don't really have to do much to enjoy the planet except notice it, hang out with it.  Where I live the trees are in bloom.  There are lots of spring flowers.  Azaleas are shouting their colors.  It's definitely time to notice and add the joy to the life of my dreams.